If

No, not a Bread song.

If today was yesterday, it would be the 3rd, and be a day without any specific personal meaning.

If today were tomorrow, it would be the 5th and be Scotty's birthday.

But it's not; it's the 4th of May and 12 years ago tonight I said good bye for the last time to my Mum when she went home with the Angels, just through the wall from where I sit as I type this in the Batcave.

I have finished decorating this room she spent so much time in. I have found unexpected boons and taken opportunities that were offered and it all just fell into place. Except the Venetian blind - that was a complete bastard. Pelmets suck.

Behind me, a few feet away, is the chair she always sat in - her father's chair, or so my grandmother told me. For a while it sat in a corner, up on longer legs for the Old Girl, but she couldn't get comfortable in it so when she stopped using it I got the leg extensions taken off it - it looked all wrong.**

During redecoration, I've moved it around a bit but only once taken it right out of the room - it's mainly lived under a dust cloth. My sister said one night "you have to put Mum's chair back in the proper place. Later I asked her to tell me why, without analysing her reply first. She said it was easy - if Mum is walking around here like we think, she is going to want to sit down in her chair. There.

So it's back where it belongs.

Some things never change and some hurts never heal - we all miss you Mum and 12 years is just a number, it changes nothing.

** PS - I guess the chair wasn't big enough for two... I'm not surprised it wasn't comfortable.